“Bridle my joy
Or it will expand
Until there is nothing left of me.
Let me feel
Where it pinches
Like a thread pulled tight.
Snag the spray
And let me always be at
The beginning of time itself.”
The rays of light are brighter if they pass through a pinhole, that is just plain science. Trapping and releasing light is what we humans do all the time. When we go on and on with mundane tasks, when we dream big, when we cry it out, when we take care of our family, when we feel lost and alone. We are trapping and releasing light at every moment of our human experience.
We are all unique. We all have our own story to tell. We are the storymakers of our own lives. I tell my children every time we see a person living on the street- “We don’t know their story, we don’t know how they got there.” We also don’t know the story of the people that we come across that blend in with us. Ordinary householders. We will never know the full story of anyone no matter how close we are.
Everyone has their own recording of their own story deep deep inside. I don’t see it in a chronological way. I see it as facets that sparkle, ever changing and moving like wind chimes in the wind. Sometimes a storm, when things are really changing in a life. Sometimes a medium breeze, when life is just chugging along. Sometimes, like in the twilight of a lifetime, the breeze slows down and there is only an occasional clang of the wind chimes.
No matter what our story is, if we give in to self destruction at the cost of ourselves, or if we give in to ambition/drive at the cost of ever slowing down to help others, we all have a majestic nature that is at the foundation of our life choices. This majestic nature is hidden and revealed by how we trap and release the light emanating from our true self.
I started this piece by shining light onto an orange lily and watching how it made the petals glow, or created shadows. Also sometimes the light would spread through or bounce off the sides or even the surface that the flower was sitting on. I took photos as a launching point and used some as reference and as a way to begin. Here are a few simple snapshots of the flowers I used, and as you can see I drew on it digitally to get some ideas flowing in the direction I wanted to take it:
After blocking in color in a relaxed way, knowing that I would veer from painting a flower realistically, I let it dry. Between layers I played with the possibilities of what I could add to the form and color, I did a lot of line work to break up the visual plane. Then I subsequently had a few more sessions to expand upon the idea and let the painting come into place. At the end it felt like I had just completed a several thousand piece jigsaw puzzle.